What's a realistic RSVP deadline?

Set the RSVP deadline 28-30 days before the wedding. Caterer needs final 14, you'll spend 7-10 days chasing laggards, you need a buffer.

Reality check: 15-25% of your guest list will not RSVP by the deadline. This is universal, not personal. Plan for it.

The chase plan:

• Day after deadline: send a "friendly reminder" email/text to anyone who hasn't responded. About 50% will respond within 48 hours.
• 5 days after deadline: phone call from you or the parent who knows them best. Don't leave it to email — people ignore email.
• 10 days after deadline: assume non-response = not coming. Tell your caterer the official count.

What helps:

• RSVP cards with stamped return envelopes (yes, still). Conversion rate is much higher than asking people to visit a website.
• A wedding website with a digital RSVP option in addition. Both, not either.
• A "decline by default" policy if your venue allows: count anyone who doesn't RSVP as not coming. (Risky — they might still show up. Only do this if your guest list is tight.)

The nuclear option: assign a relative as "RSVP enforcer" — usually someone's mom — to do the awkward chasing for you.